Man sues airlines.

Friday 11/02/2005

Yesterday, at 11pm, a man sued the airlines which uses the airspace above his landed property for endangering his life as well as inflicting severe irreparable damage to his psyche. It was reported that the man was hit on the head by a paper bag full of unidentified material at 5pm. According to the man, "It smelt, felt and unfortunately tasted like vomit, but I can't be sure." He suffered dizzy spells, and often had the urge to throw up, and with a heavy head, decided that someone had to pay.

Most of the spokespersons for the airlines we interviewed, divulged that they do not, as a policy, discharge used paperbags from the air. However, upon repeated questioning, they conceded that sometimes, to save the hassle of having to clear the cabins when the airplane lands, they do flush paperbags down the drain.

"Usually human discharge will disintegrate at a certain altitude, therefore it has never been a problem," a spokesperson revealed to us. He included that "Cheeky cabin personnel will go and relieve themselves as the planes are approaching the runaway, so that they can leave a visible trail." It seems that this practice is widely used by airlines of certain countries which have bad bilateral ties.

The man informed us that even if he does not get a verdict that goes his way, he is satisfied as this means that the airlines will no longer dump things over this property. "I purposely didn't bathe to protect the evidence, which I'm sure they will say that I planted it to discredit me," adding "I'm sure they don't want to meet me again in similar circumstances." A spokesperson for one of the airlines named in the suit, said that the cabin crew will be informed of the location of the man's house, and to mark it in the future.