Old remedy

Today, an age old ritual saved a man from total discomfort, stomach pains, vomitting and such, things which are usually associated with an imbalance of the body. He was healed with the help of an old man with faith. in fruit salt. The old man said that he had been saving people's bodies, from being possessed by such symptoms with the remedy. He revealed that in his line of work, he had seen people vomitting a lot, as though they were taken over by some mysterious force.

Thus he wishes to tell everyone who has faith in him, to try the remedy. He can be found loitering outside places of ill repute, that is places where people display these symptoms of being ill, such as Zouk. He says that he battles with such difficulties using only fruit salt and some water. For those who wishes to see him, you can try to ask around. He is known as the Enocist, and performs Enocism with great ease and he will definitely help you, in times of great agony...

Found!

Yesterday, there was the suprise find of Shoutapore's only Ehlympic medal. Over 10 years. Indeed, it was a glorious day when the famed local archaeologist, Angmokio Jones and his assistant Rambo Tan stumbled upon the find. "Wah Piang eh!," shouted Jones. "Wacky hor!," exclaimed Tan. These were believed to be the first few words uttered by the duo.

They had found the lost medal, the only medal that a local Shoutaporean won at the Ehlympics. "I couldn't believe it, I thought it was a wrapper, so I tried to pick it up, to throw away but couldn't, so I used the hoe that I had to pick at the side of the rubbish as you know we got to keep the place clean and green, and then it dawned on me that it was actually the medal dating back to the year 1994 of the Ehlympics. Wacky hor!" Tan revealed.

"Wah Piang eh! Long story huh, it was I who told him to dig around and he didn't mention it? Getting all the glory for the story eh morning glory?" questioned Jones. It seemed that the ancient medal had a curse. Anyone who has contact with the medal would be viewed by others to try and grab all the attention he/she possibly can even when it is not the case. It looks like the authorities were right in getting foreign talent to try and win medals for Shoutapore, so that the locals then can question their motives in playing to win, for Shoutapore.

So was the medal lost, or was it thrown away? "Hummmm, Wah Piang eh, Wacky hor"...

Stubbed thumb

Today, scientists in Aiemtokinkok, somewhere in the world, have proven that sick people generally do not make better company. In fact, they are most likely the ones who would be highly irritable and relate many 'interesting' ideas. This was proven using the Aikenobettatianyou system of analysis which was developed a few days ago. With this system, anyone would be able to analyse the effect or cause of a particular phenomenon. One no longer need to use qualitative or quantitative metholodogy to understand anything at all.

A recently purchased system of Aikenobettatianyou analysed and gave the supposed cause of my stubbed thumb. It said that it was caused by me pounding my thumb using a hammer. Strange, I thought that it was due to me not being able to catch a fast ball properly. But I suppose the system is slightly damaged, because when I input my alternate reason, it simply flashed its name, "Aikenobettatianyou". Then I realised that I should not question such a brilliant piece of machinery, and maybe I might have really pounded my thumb with a hammer.. somewhere somehow..

In any case, if you would like to purchase a system of Aikenobettatianyou, please be prepared to get your own rocket scientist. It is because of the intricate nature of assessment and functioning process of the machine which requires a rocket scientist to maintain and operate. The oft-mentioned phrase of "You don't need to be a rocket scientist to understand/operate that", does not apply here.

A new product will also be coming up as advertised by the same company which brought you Aikenobettatianyou. It will called "Aitoldyousoebartyoudunbeleaf."

Back?

It's been a while.

So long.

Memories fade.

Hurts.

Well, before anyone of you think that this is an article about my lost loves, think again. Well, can't say they were in the multiples anyways. It is about an abduction. My abduction. By Aliens. It's true, look at the manner in which I'm relating it. Short and succint, definitely not me.

Anyways, being abducted by Aliens is quite an experience really. You get to go to far away places, and find out about the ways your body responds to probes. Rest assured, the world is not flat, and that the satellites are beaming real images of outer space into the many computers in NASA. I found out however that you cannot see the great wall of China! But due to the nature of the tinted windows of the UFO, I suppose no one can.

The reason for the abduction was for the post on Anti-Durianism. I admit, it was wrong of me to put Anti with Durianism cos it's a redundant usage which makes the meaning wrong. But I guess it was more for the fact which I uncovered the real nature of the Giant Durian nesting. I was let off, because I told them about the location in which little durians were eaten. raw. Well, either way the durian Aliens told me to be careful of what i say, or I might get another trip to *Durianland.

*Durianland is the name I gave to the place where the durians left me. Little durians were running around, slides, water themeparks, the works! Although I must say, looking at little durians dropping from their wooden dive points into the water, really gave me a tingly sense of the funnies.

That's all, and I hope that this will be the last of the abductions, though I hope that I might get a free ride again without the 'benefits' soon.